This week's show:

Cheap Beer Blind Taste Test

Sure, we all think that we know the best bang for the buck, but were you willing to stake cold hard cash on picking your personal Pabst out of the crowd?

Neither were we. But we did get together with 11 of America's finest, cheapest barley colas, one overpriced Mexican, and enough styrofoam to add a few years to our purgatorial sentences to determine, once and for all, with Science, which Cheap Beer stands as King.

Each cheap beer was rated along 5 axes: Bouquet, Taste, Texture, Aftertaste, and Mass Quantity Potential (MQP). The results follow.

Oh, and we all got pretty toasty (just in case you had any doubts).

The Judges:

Bay: Insisting on sampling the beers in numeric order, Bay's analysis proved less linear than any other. Bay contributed the Hamm's Special Light, not realizing at the time that he, too, would have to drink it.

Becca: She is so the funny one. Becca finished first, after making disparaging comments about Bay's Grandmother's private parts.

Blaire: held her own and her liquor, Blaire got the "craziest, most satanic picture" award for the day.

Brad: Our bartender for the day, Brad made the day everything that it was, and more. Not only did he develop our blind tasting methodology on the fly, he also laid the groundwork for our statistical analysis, even contributing the essential rated category of MQP. He only drinks Guiness, and wouldn't taste with us on this auspicious day. We hate him.

Cole: Young rockabilly superstar, and neophyte Sterling fanatic, Cole was more excited than anybody about the day's events. His enthusiasm, zeal, and courage were inspiration to us all.

Eddie: Theme-party-man extraordinaire, Eddie showed up ready to rumble in his Grandfather's musty Bud shirt, honoring one of the essential omitted American cheap brews.

James: Host. Tested and tried Pabst advocate.

Ngeab: The only one among us who successfully managed to rate each beer in every category. Ngeab's clarity and sober analysis (we assume) only leads credance to the final results.

Ray: Zoinks! University of Chicago educated and, by sheer volume, more experienced with cheap beer than the rest of us, Crazy Ray easily had the most discerning palate.

Zach: One of these things was not like the others: Zach's contribution, the 1.33USD/12 oz. bottle Mexican import, Dos Equis. Fuck that hogwash.

Zack and Lillian: Lillian's tea-totalling assessment provided some of the afternoon's most vicious commentary while Zack seemed pretty chill about drinking beer in the afternoon.

The Results: